Thursday, April 16, 2009


Satire by S.M. Baleen

Today (Tax Day), about 1,500 members of the Ku Klux Klan gathered on the South Carolina State House grounds under the aegis of protesting “taxation without representation.” Rally organizer and Columbia area real estate magnate Britton Clark could not be reached for comment on the irony that the rally was being held on the steps of the State Capitol, the very place where taxation WITH representation occurs every day in South Carolina.

U.S. Senator Jim Demint told the gathered fiery protestors, “This is where I get my strength.” Really? From people who apparently despise the fact that their tax dollars are spent to pay the salaries of firefighters, teachers and police officers. (Hey, Senator, I hear that the quasi-country of Somalia has some political position holes to fill.)

Today’s rally, however, is a marvelous indicator that the American political right wing has apparently taken a turn for total pacifism. Or is it possible that the protestors, many of whom have family and friends in the U.S. military, aren’t aware of the fact that the $1 trillion the U.S. government will spend on defense in the current fiscal year comes from taxes collected by the federal government.

Then again, maybe the “tea party” protesters just want the military to be composed of privately-maintained armies. This could be the case, as one protestor could be heard yelling, “COBRA Commander rules! Long live Destro!”

Ironically, at the end of today’s rally, all protestors were forced against their will to cross publicly-funded roads in order to get back to their cars. (No one seemed to complain all too much about that.) And Columbia Mayor Bob Coble issued a special edict that any protestor injured in an automobile accident on the way home would, out of deference for their political beliefs, not be offered police, ambulance or firefighter assistance, nor would they be allowed treatment by a doctor or healthcare worker who had formerly received any type of public education.