Friday, June 29, 2007

The World Speaks

Ever hear some redneck say we should remove the troops so we can nuke them all?

Video link suggested by City Paper columnist Ismail Lagardien

Monday, June 25, 2007

Landmark Resources attempts to shut down block of Five Points nightlife

Here's the letter from Landmark Resources to the businesses in Plaza Center. Check out the story at


From our political satire buddy David Martin.


by David Martin

Paris Hilton is back in jail and has apparently found God. She was recently spotted carrying a copy of the Bible and now says that her prison experience has changed her and made her “much more spiritual.”

However, it appears that Ms. Hilton’s Bible is not the King James Version or the New International Version. Rather, it seems that she is reading from her own personal version of the scriptures as evidenced by the following passages:

Oprah 3:15

“Be not constrained by the bars of prison but go forth and announce your state to the world. Whomever you choose to call, do so with grace, modesty and a guaranteed 15% audience share.”

Barbara 5:13

“Let not thy View be impaired by the darkness of your cell. For there is another cell called a phone which shall be thy lifeline to the throngs who long for news of your stay. Call when the spirit moves you and fear not that ye shall wake me for the good news is on a 24-hour cycle.”

Phil 4:23

“And the child did lamp unto the feet of the healer and cried out: ‘Why have you forsaken me, Dr. Phil?’ But lo, I have not forsaken you my child but instead I have reserved a fortnight’s worth of episodes to bring you back into the fold.”

2 FOX 6:12

“Know ye that wherever you go, God is with you as is FOX and all of her many channels. Praise the cable universe and the certain wealth that shall be rained down upon you at our most generous rates.”

Numbers 2:23

“Yea though ye serve your full sentence, know that the numbers will continue to rise. Based on the findings of the ones called Neilsen and Gallup and Pew, surely you will be seen by more of the people than you could previously have imagined. Do the time and you will earn the abundance of the Lord.”

Revelations 8:12

“And the people looked heavenward and cried as one: ‘Give us more news of the one they call Paris for we must know whereof she speaks!’ And the one called Paris looked down upon the masses and smiled for she knew that her penance would profit her for all time.”

2 ET 4:26
“The picture taker will live with the gossip monger, the broadsheet will lie down with the tabloid, the news and the entertainment and the trivia together; and an overgrown child shall lead them.”

Sunday, June 24, 2007

S.C. commits another murder.

Columbia, S.C. -Calvin Shuler was executed by lethal injection on Friday at Broad River Correctional Institution. Shuler was convicted of a murder that occurred during a botched robbery of an armored vehicle that killed James B. Brooks on Dec. 3, 1997.

Ever since City Paper slapped Governor Sanford’s home and vacation numbers on the cover of December 1st, 2005 issue South Carolina has done a good job at keeping it quiet when they are about to kill another criminal that didn’t commit a premeditated act.

Bottom line is South Carolina continues government-sanctioned murder for those that aren’t the worst of the worst and Gov. Sanford does nothing to stop it.

Hopefully these powerful state officials will get a T-Bone steak and have time to reflect on their judgment day.

- Paul Blake

S.C. Department of Revenue collecting from drug dealers

The most mind boggling thing in this past cover story on crack had to be South Carolina's tax stamps for cocaine, heroin and mary jane.
Here's one of the stamps and the form needed for paying taxes on your illegal substances.

Read the full article here if you haven't read this yet.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Numbers Don’t Lie

By Wendy Brinker

Many boast that America is the best country in the world. Indeed there are a few superlative qualities unique to America that go unchallenged. One area where we absolutely reign supreme is in our insatiable consumer practices. Americans only constitute four percent of the world population, but manage to annually gobble up one fourth of the world’s resources. That’s pretty impressive, considering there’s no ecosystem in existence that can mathematically sustain that type of predation for very long. We are superbly practiced in the art of compartmentalization, so the impact of our voracious appetites on the planet never really enters the equation.

Because we are so superior in theory and practice to the average world citizen, it’s difficult for us to extend equal human value past the Canadian border and ever since that “Freedom Fries” thing it’s even more difficult. So what if we’re considered terrorists by the international community? The world is our oyster and we’ve got all the Texas hot sauce you can handle. We're some gun toting, democracy loving, bible pounding marauders and if you’re not with us, you’re an evildoer so who needs you anyhow?

But this is no recent development in American attitudes. The notion of our special brand of U.S. grade-A white dominion stepped onto the shores with our ancestors and has remained a basic staple in our philosophical diet ever since. They brought with them a Western European notion created at the dawn of the sciences of archaeology and anthropology that asserts Caucasians possess a brain capacity superior to all others. Our indoctrination into the world using this model that puts us at the top of the human food chain has forever tainted our country's history, our self-perception and our relationship to the world. It is the subconscious brick on the gas pedal for white America when we characterize a people or country as barbaric or primitive or to whom we assign and extend “civility.”

This is how we lovingly forgive ourselves and even romanticize the genocide of the native people who lived on this continent thousands of years before we arrived. They were simple, hostile savages and besides, it was destiny – divine providence. God wanted us to live here. This is also the very quality that allowed us to kidnap and hold Africans in captivity for centuries for the express purpose of providing free labor. We just couldn’t find it in ourselves to assign any intellectual prowess or spiritual worth upon those who are so obviously inferior. And this is precisely how we live with the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq. Why start extending any benefit of humanity to people who are so obviously different from us now?

The news media refuses to show us the reality of carnage in Iraq, so unless you’re some kind of tree-hugging, bourgeois liberal, you probably don’t seek out this sort of morbid imagery. But our modern theatres and sporting arenas, the places you learn community/family-sanctioned hatred for people wearing another color or sporting another logo, provide a perfect measure. The toll of American deaths has recently exceeded 3,500. This grim assembly would fill up the four orchestra floor sections and the first and second balcony at the Township Auditorium with 300 waiting on Taylor Street to get in. The number of troops bloodied and wounded in Iraq (25,830 as of June 6, 2007) would constitute a capacity crowd of 18,000 at the Colonial Center and the overflow would nearly fill the Carolina Coliseum with its capacity to accommodate 12,000.

A Johns Hopkins University study released last October put the number of violent Iraqi civilian deaths since the invasion in 2003 at 600,000. The Bush administration puts the toll at 30,000. That’s quite a discrepancy. Since the White House refuses to account for innocent Iraqi lives lost, it is nearly impossible to know for sure. Let’s consider a figure of 200,000. This would fill Williams Brice Stadium (capacity of 80,000) two and a half times over. Many of the excess deaths are a result of aerial bombardments, with women and children being frequent victims. In fact, you would have to reserve in excess of 30,000 seats if you wanted to make a special kid’s section for all the Iraqi children who’ve died for democracy.

Our elected officials lied to us about their motivations for invading Iraq. Our innocent American children are forced to march on through hostile bloody sands bearing the gift of our superior way of life. So what if we have to kill them to teach them a better way to live? They’ll thank us for it in the end.

Besides, good Americans probably shouldn’t think about it too much.

Wendy Brinker is an artist and filmmaker in Columbia, S.C.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Ravenel Indictment

Shortly after losing the state Republican nomination for a U.S. senate run to Jim DeMint in 2004, real estate developer-turned-S.C. Treasurer, Thomas Ravenel, explained that his gracious endorsement of DeMint was an example of how he "rolled." "That's just how Thomas Ravenel rolls," he said.


Thursday, June 14, 2007

City Paper web site update

One Stop Shop now has all the information you need:
up to the date live music listings , movie listings, weather, on-line sudoku games, Restaurant listings and you can even find the lowest place to buy gas.

Don't worry there's still plenty of web extras of the Handwriting Doctor, Radio Free, Ted Rall, Statehouse Report, Savage Love, Red Meat, Bum of The Week, Letters to the Reader, David Axe's War is Boring, and unique sports coverage you won't see anywhere else.


Wednesday, June 06, 2007

The State newspaper picks up Christian Exodus story...two weeks later

Two weeks after City Paper reported the founder of the religions, conservative, secessionist group, Christian Exodus, planned to lead an emigration to the South Carolina Upstate in order to take over state politics, the state’s largest daily newspaper ran an Associated Press report about the “breaking news.”

We’re sure it just took two weeks for one of the “boys in the newsroom” to go outside to buy a Coke and a Starburst and stumble across Columbia’s only locally-owned alternative weekly, but hey, better late than never.

-Corey Hutchins

Monday, June 04, 2007

Murder, robbery & burglary on the rise

It will be interesting to see if these stats released today end up making crime a major campaign issue. - P.B.

Violent Crime

* Murder: Is up 0.3 percent overall. The number of offenses increased the most—6.7 percent—in cities with a million or more residents and decreased the most—11.9 percent—in non-metropolitan counties.
* Forcible rape: Decreased nearly 2 percent overall. Only two population categories experienced increases, both with populations less than 100,000.
* Robbery: Rose 6 percent, the highest increase in any violent or property crime category. Each population group except non-metropolitan counties saw an increase.
* Aggravated assault: Experienced a slight overall drop of 0.7 percent. The largest cities experienced the greatest declines.
* Regional breakdown: Three of four geographic regions (except the Northeast) showed violent crime increases. The largest increase was in the West, with 2.8 percent.

Property Crime

* Burglary: Increased slightly, 0.2 percent. The greatest increase—3.3 percent—came in cities with 500,000 to 999,999 residents.
* Larceny-theft (down 3.5 percent overall) and motor vehicle theft (down 4.7 percent) experienced decreases in every population category.
* Arson: Is up 1.8 percent in all but one population group. Arsons are tracked separately from other property crime offenses.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

A successful concert series

The summer concert series is here.
It starts at 7pm tonight at Finlay Park.
It is amazing how successful an event can be when it isn't controlled by corporate interests.

It is totally free and kicks off tonight with a blues band.
Bring chairs and have a picnic but no glass bottles or alcohol. (we say flask it!)
Have fun, as there is always something fun to do in Columbia!

You can also check out our movie times at the official City Paper site.