Sunday, November 06, 2005

Thanks to the law students that phoned in yesterday. I like to think we "rock" as well, and we look forward to you defending us in the future.
We will have a list of locations where you can pick the paper up online soon.
I've let most publishers in town know that we have rights to all Snitch racks and those unlabeled will be done so this week.
Anyone caught messing with our racks will be reported to Columbia City Police department.
If you think we are joking, just ask one publisher when you check out Police Report #05-34294.
So if you are that fat kid in Gambrell Hall, we have big plans for you. Since the first copy is free and each additional is a dollar, we were waiting for you to hit the 1,000 mark in papers stolen. This way it’s considered Grand Larceny, which will make it much more serious. Thanks for playing with Columbia City Paper!

7 comments:

Mike said...

Nice issue. It looks like you're taking a turn towares more goofy articles, which I prefer. I read this online so I could care less about your local sex discrimination suits or whatever.

Anyway I'm sure the locals get a kick out of this paper. "Worst of Columbia" is awesome.

-Literate in S.C. said...

A dollar for each additional issue? That seems like a fair price for such a great paper. I would like to pick up 2 copies of your next paper. One for me and one for my ailing Grandmother. She's a big fan of "Cooking with Ass."
Where can I leave the dollar?

columbiacitypaper said...

If you are serious, we do need to work out our subscription rates. Many people have been requesting this, even people that aren't related to me. In the next week or so we will have details on subscriptions and the price will most likely just cover the mailing costs.

Hope said...

Well written and entertaining article about Bush. Keep up the great work...sounds like thanks to y'all some heads are seriously rolling in Columbia. I love it!

newspaper vandal said...

Stealing papers is lame. If the snitch is gone and y'all are really moving in to their boxes, I'll wipe off all the "kill cops" tags on the snitch boxes, presuming you aren't funded by the FOP and aren't "pro-law & order and anti-criminal," which you don't seem to be.

JD MO said...

Hey I see the point of the University in wanting to keep that settlement quiet! Maybe I am mistaken, but sadly I think this story of "sexual harrassment" was shockingly benign when the facts were read. The positive in that: While the incident of the touch to the knee accompanied by the phrase "Your a good girl" seems to me to be INAPPROPRIATE, ARROGANT, CONDESCENDING, DISTASTEFUL, IMMATURE, UNPROFESSIONAL, DEMEANING... etc, I could go on and on with adjectives here... to call it "SEXUAL" Harrassment most definately BROADENS that definition. Many will applaud that!
That such an incident is worth THOUSANDS in lost wages to the woman involved is a huge victory EXCEPT of course that it pales when considering the MASSIVE CASH COW this case was for the lawyers. My take on this: If the lawyers REALLY WERE IN IT FOR SOCIAL GOOD they would have REFUSED TO SETTLE so a precedent could REALLY BE SET. But then again maybe they would have lost... The words "Your a good girl" might be hard to justify as really that threatening- even with the accompanying touch.
Regardless, now that the story is out, expect taxpayers to foot the bill of what I would anticipate will be LOTS MORE CASES in response to this. I am SURE there are MANY MORE WOMEN out there with EVEN MORE INTERESTING, and NOW LIKELY PROFITABLE stories to tell.(If this story shocked you, just spend a little time on ANY College campus talking to young women!)
And hey- Columbia City paper is promoting the social good in a fantastic way! By exposing this story you not only call attention to the fact that times are changin and women can no longer be treated as less than men (Except of course when it comes to salarys.. which is still perfectly acceptable) but this story and it's potential for the so called slippery slope could jump start the local economy! It might fuel more lawsuits... think of all those people who will need to show up in court: they will not only pay local lawyers plenty, but they may frequent some local restaraunts while downtown as well. If Columbia is lucky there will be a barrage of lawsuits in which former Columbia folk who have moved on will be called into court, thus financially supporting the transportation and hospitality industrys as well.
Hey go sell some ads to the cab companys and hotels... tell them you are already supporting their businesses...(OOPS.. That the "OLD SCHOOL" PAPER style you are trying to get away from right?)
And if there ARE a barrage of cases, I don't think the taxpayers will be upset with you! IT will be understood as a worthy cause for the evolving sociatal good.
Now maybe you can investigate that issue of the glass ceiling and pay disparity. If you break open that issue in some meaningful way then maybe there wouldn't be underpaid angry jaded women looking for some way to move the money from the powers that be into their hard working hands in an embittered way? And hey-- I am really interested? Was there even ONE WOMAN on the team of lawyers? Or were they all men? I think there are bigger issues and stories here than only that one incident if you dig for them.
Happy investigating!

Anonymous said...

Looks nice! Awesome content. Good job guys.
»